Rate My Team #2: Molly’s No Stars

Team: Molly’s No Stars
Coach: Mollyfud.
Competition: Dream Team
As at round: 3.
Ranking: 5349.

Backs: Danny JACOBS, Andrew MCLEOD, Jared BRENNAN, Chad CORNES, Grant BIRCHALL, Joel BOWDEN, Tim BOYLE, Luke MCGUANE, Xavier ELLIS.

Centres: Daniel KERR, Clinton YOUNG, Chris JUDD, Sam MITCHELL, Brad SEWELL, Marc MURPHY, Bryce GIBBS, Chance BATEMAN.

Rucks: Aaron SANDILANDS, Adam PATTISON, Robert CAMPBELL, Brent RENOUF.

Forwards: Scott LUCAS, Matthew PAVLICH, Lance FRANKLIN, Justin KOSCHITZKE, Mark WILLIAMS, Nathan ABLETT, Alwyn DAVEY, Leroy JETTA, Josh KENNEDY.

Alright then. On Brennan, I don’t care whether you had him from the start or you traded him in after his stellar scores in rounds 1 and 2, he’s a dud: -0.5. Another -0.5 for having Boyle in your starting 22. +1 for Sewell though, he’s the sort of unique player who can make a difference. Molly, my friend, WTF were you thinking with your rucks? Campbell has been injured, Pattison is a dud, Renouf is years away from any sort of production. Where are the Crows rucks? -2 for that whole mess, it’s terrible. Your forwards are solid, although I have to give you -2 for your lack of Bock and Adcock.

Everyone, repeat after me: Bock and Adcock are locks. Bock and Adcock are locks. Bock and Adcock are locks. Don’t hock them until they shock you with Barry Crockers, or I’ll dock your flocks on the clock.

Sadly, the total after all of that is a sorry 6/10, one of my lowest scores. Having said that, it’s a long season, good luck mate!